When my wife (and every female alive) looks upon a full rack of clothes and says, “I don’t have anything to wear,” later specifying that she doesn’t like any of her options, I could never really understand it. I have 259 drafts on this blog, most only just titles and had the same exact thought. My blog has nothing to wear.
There is such a thing as too much customer service. When we live in a society where immediately after I order a sandwich at a coffee shop, the barista assures me it will be “ready in just a minute” before I’ve even had time to put my wallet back in my pocket. This implies I was already worrying about the whereabouts of my sandwich or I was on the verge of doing so.
Few things make you feel more pathetic than sleeping wrong. My one job is to lie still and I wake up with a sore neck like I spent the night reading the titles of a never ending bookshelf.
The never ending pasta bowl at the Olive Garden sounds like a form of torture.
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.” explains my repetitive situation with supermarket sushi.
Most people aren’t comfortable doing something until they see others doing it.
As people age, they don’t become weaker. All strength gets funneled into their gorilla hands.
Has the advice “Cheer up” ever worked?
Oranges are the only fruit that smells better after you eat it. Apples have 30 minutes after consumption before they become a rotting stink bomb.
Everything looks absurd from a distance and everything is understandable up close. This morning I was waiting for an oil change in a room with a couch and a TV showing a team of environmentalists rescue a wounded manatee. 2,000 years ago, which isn’t that long, people were getting stomped to death by elephants used in battle. The biggest problem I’ve had today is buying water at the airport and seeing it for a cheaper price within 10 seconds after purchase.
People get irrational when something is free which they are used to paying for. In college I once ate 5 complete apples (everything but the stems) in one sitting with the promise of $5 if I could accomplish the task.