“Are you on drugs?”
On the first day of my first job, working the cash register at a pizza restaurant, I was told this by a frustrated customer.
Not the boost of confidence I was looking for as a 15 year old starting my first legitimate job. (Umpiring and a failed lemonade stand doesn’t count.)
I was slow. They were frustrated so they emoted.
I eventually got over it, as everyone in the service industry learns to do.
Many people are unreasonable. Many people are quick-tempered. Many people are wrong.
A key to happiness and eventual success is taking nothing personally.
After spending 8-10 years working in the service industry as a side job, I no longer take many things personally.
Someone in the comments on a recent post said the title I chose for the book I spent two years working on was the stupidest title ever.
I don’t care.
In high school I interviewed at Best Buy for menial jobs 5 times without getting hired.
I didn’t care.
After graduating college, I didn’t hear back from a dozen ad agencies I wanted to work for at that time.
I didn’t care.
It’s not that I don’t care about being successful. I do. But if something doesn’t work out, the only option is to keep moving forward.
If you can’t keep moving you become stuck in your emotions. There is nothing productive about dwelling on past failures.
You learn from them and move on.
You can hate this post if you want. I won’t take it personally.
Connect with me on Twitter: @BenNesvig
Anonymous says
This made me feel a bit better. So i don’t hate this post.
Anonymous says
Not the same, but related:
http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/
Ben Nesvig says
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. I love it.
Sean Mac says
What you think of me is none of my business.
Anonymous says
That’s alright. I have not worked where you did work.
I take some things personally. But there’s many things that appear big, which I do not take personally. And it _is_ much better that way.
The key is to be able to acknowledge it without feeling bad about it, instead of just “ignoring” as in “i don’t care”.
John Morris says
I wish I had learned this at an early age. The opening paragraph resonated with me; I vividly remember my soccer coast asking me (at age 6) if I was on drugs–in all seriousness. I’ve been very slow to learn new things my entire life. It didn’t bother me then, but as I got older I started to wonder if I had an intellectual defect.
Thanks for the post – a great reminder and advice for anyone. A good way to take your advice is to ask “What would Spock do?” Answer: probably not take it personally.
Sebastian Komianos says
How about relationships with other humans, that you DO care about, though?
Osize Om says
Makes a lot of sense.
ccc says
Every human is looking for “acknowledgment”, even those who have them in abundance. I think the trick is to completely disregard it and move on.
It’s wonderful you realized this as early as 15. I’m still learning it even at a older age.
Guest says
Watch “Meet The Robinsons” if you haven’t. Mantra… Keep Moving Forward(TM)
Cynthia Schames says
I HATE this post!! Because I know I need to stop taking things personally.
I’m learning that I can still be passionate and committed without being married to an idea, person, situation. Emotional mastery is easier said than done, but it’s all part of growing and changing and improving.
Thanks for writing this.
manoj r. says
At the times of salary increase, I do care. Because I need to know whether to start typing the resume or not.
Kartik Shah says
Brilliant. Succinct. Simple.
Kurren says
Don’t take it personally, but – really – this post sucks